In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

#times #adults #time #families #friends #change #parents #force #children #home

this

contemporary era,Some individuals think youngsters spend

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

more time with friends rather than their families.There are several causes described in the

unpcoming

Correct your spelling

upcoming

paragraphs.

Firstly

increased

Correct article usage

the increased

show examples

independece

Correct your spelling

independence

of young adults who

wants

Correct subject-verb agreement

want

show examples

to establish their own identity

seperate

Correct your spelling

separate

from

thier

Correct your spelling

their

family leads them to spend most of their time outside of their house.

Secondly

, the drastically growing influence of

socia

Correct your spelling

social

media

making

Wrong verb form

makes

show examples

a habit among adults to connect

everybody

Change preposition

with everybody

show examples

on their phones rather than engaging face-to-face with their family members.

Thirdly

, The generation gap between parents and

thier

Correct your spelling

their

kids

reduce

Correct subject-verb agreement

reduces

show examples

the interactions because they cannot understand each

others

Change to a genitive case

other's

show examples

mindset.

Finally

, the race

of becoming

Change preposition

to become

show examples

better in

this

modern world leads

Change preposition

apply

show examples

individuals to study or work abroad leaving their motherlands

cut-off

Correct your spelling

cut off

show examples

the connection between

thier

Correct your spelling

their

families.

On the other hand

, Children learn a plethora of skills from outside or by

intracting

Correct your spelling

interacting

with their friends which includes developing confidence,making connections and educating themselves with newer content.

Also

, enforcing

childern

Correct your spelling

children

to spend their time with family members can

possibaly

Correct your spelling

possibly

increase the distance between

then

Correct your spelling

them

show examples

even

further

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

because they will assume that

thier

Correct your spelling

their

thoughts and decisions are not being respected. In conclusion, Parents should try to become friends

Change preposition

with

show examples

their kids with emotional support which may encourage kids to talk more openly and confidently

instead

of building pressure

amonh

Correct your spelling

them.

Submitted by sandhuprabh090 on Sun Feb 11 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar & Accuracy

Make sure to proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, and to ensure correct sentence structure. This will help improve clarity and readability.

Structure

To enhance coherence, create a clear outline of your essay before you start writing. This includes a defined introduction stating your essay's structure, coherent paragraphs with clear topic sentences, and a summarizing conclusion.

Sentence Variety & Vocabulary

Strive for variety in sentence structures and avoid overly simplistic sentences. Additionally, use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more vividly and precisely. This can also help to create a more academic tone.

Linking Words

Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. This helps the reader follow your argument and understand the relationship between different points.

Developing Paragraphs

Directly Addressing the Question

Make sure to directly answer both parts of the question. Share your opinion when asked and provide a balanced discussion of the topic. This is crucial for achieving a higher task achievement score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

218 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

independence
establish
identity
influence
social media
digital communication
commitments
pressure
academic
profession
prioritize
cultural shifts
societal shifts
peer relationships
emotional support
guidance
voluntary
autonomy
balance
resilient
overbearing

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Technology is being used more and more in education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.
It is argued that technology plays an ever-increasing role in schools and universities. Increased access to information and student freedom are the main advantages, whereas dependency on technology and decreasing levels of face-to-face contact are the main disadvantages.
7.5
band
In many cities, there is little control on the design and construction of new houses. Some people think that people can choose to build houses in their own styles instead of building them with the same style as the old house style in local areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In several cities, the construction and appearance of new accommodations are under limited control. A group of citizens believe that owners can pick their own style of building rather than following the same patterns that existed in that location area. I think this is beneficial to design our homes in the way that we like it.
4.5
band
Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?
As far as it is said that the matter of air pollution and growing traffic, the best solution is to increase the petrol cost I agree with this opinion, and I will explain some other ways for these issues.
7
band
Some people think they have the right to use as much fresh water as they want, while others believe the government should control the use of fresh water as it is a limited resource. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In recent years, most people have used fresh water in their daily lives, while some people have not been allowed to access and resources of clean water have been limited. Personally, I insist that everybody should an able to attend fresh water; support will be illustrated in the following paragraphs:
5
band
In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work fro home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?
As time passed, the way of working has changed among people. Since technology has improved, numerous new developments have come across. Furthermore, instead of going to work offices every day, many people tend to work from home and do their tasks online. This method has come forward with various pros and cons.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Fully explain your ideas

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Technology is being used more and more in education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

In many cities, there is little control on the design and construction of new houses. Some people think that people can choose to build houses in their own styles instead of building them with the same style as the old house style in local areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Some people think they have the right to use as much fresh water as they want, while others believe the government should control the use of fresh water as it is a limited resource. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work fro home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+