IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing, and business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of how some selected sectors in the UK
contribute
Wrong verb form
contributed
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 to the country's
economy
Replace the word
economic
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 growth during 1900, 1950, 1975, and 2020. Over the period given, business and
financial
Replace the word
finance
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 was the only sector that consistently increased. In 1900, the business and financial sector only accounted for less than 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the economy of the UK. After a century,
this
 number significantly
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
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 to slightly more than 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
manufacturing
Correct article usage
the manufacturing
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 industry showed a completely different trend over the same period. Its contribution decreased drastically from about 45
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 1900 to only about 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2000. Almost similar trend was shown by
agriculture
Add an article
the agriculture
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 industry. Despite the slight increase from 1900 to 1950,
it
Change the pronoun
its
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 contribution to
Correct article usage
the economy
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economy
Replace the word
economic
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 growth of the UK plummeted from more than 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 1950 to only about 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1975.
This
 number continued to fall until the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000.
Submitted by giskaayprd on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Comparative analysis
  • Declining trend
  • Agrarian economy
  • Fluctuations
  • Industrial advancements
  • Recessions
  • Significant growth
  • Service-oriented industries
  • Dynamic economic structure
  • Traditional sectors
  • Modern service-based sectors
  • Urbanization
  • Technological advancements
  • Global market integrations
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