IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You bought a TV a week ago but when you got home you discovered it did not work properly. You called customer service to report the problem but you have not yet received any help. Write a letter to the company and in your letter: *introduce yourself *explain the problem *and state what action you would like from the company

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the
T.V
Correct your spelling
TV
 that I purchased from your store,
as well as
Linking Words
 recommending the action that your company should take. My name is Ashurov Sardor who is one of the
frequently
Change the adverb
frequent
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customer
Change to a plural noun
customers
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. I live in Chirchiq, and I always
purchased
Wrong verb form
purchase
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tech-products
Correct your spelling
tech products
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 from your company. I have not been facing
like
Change preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
 issue
until
Change preposition
since
show examples
 my
last
Linking Words
 purchase. The main problem is
T.V.
Correct article usage
the T.V.
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 set that I bought
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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from your store on
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
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 of February. When I was
buying
Correct pronoun usage
buying it
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, the employee said that it was
the
Correct article usage
a
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 modern model. When I got home and
endavour
Correct your spelling
decided
 to commence it .
Then
Linking Words
 I realized
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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malfunction
Wrong verb form
malfunctioned
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 with
remote
Correct article usage
the remote
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 and
also
Linking Words
 the quality of
screen
Add an article
the screen
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 was not
inadequate
Replace the word
adequate
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 and clear.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 what made me disappointed was that your company service did not take my report of my issue. I would appreciate it if you could address
this
Linking Words
 matter as soon as possible sending me some technicians to fix the issue. Alternatively, I would await a full refund from you. I trust that you will
talk
Verb problem
take
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 appropriate action to solve the situation.
Correct the word
Yours
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Your
Correct your spelling
Yours
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 faithfully, Ashurov Sardor.

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Single Idea per Paragraph
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea. The initial paragraphs could be clearer by separating the introduction of the issue and your personal history with the company.
Complete Response
Provide a brief, clear summary of the issue early in the letter to help the reader understand the main point immediately.
Logical Structure
Use connective words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing the overall coherence of the letter.
Greeting and Closing
Ensure the closing of the letter is polite and expects a response. The current closing is good but can include a line thanking the reader in advance for their attention to the matter.
Task Achievement
Avoid spelling and grammar mistakes to ensure the letter appears professional and is easy to understand. For example, 'frequently customer' should be 'frequent customer', 'endavour to commence it' should be 'attempted to turn it on', and 'not inadequate and clear' should likely be 'not adequate and clear'.
Suitable Writing Tone
Consider adopting a more formal tone for business letters. Avoid colloquial expressions and ensure the language is appropriate for formal correspondence.
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