The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make the comparison where relevant.
The graphs illustrate the
shifting
Replace the word
shift
of
sales between 2003 and 2013 in New Zealand. there are four Change preposition
in
aspect
shown in Change to a plural noun
aspects
this
charts
Fix the agreement mistake
chart
containing
music, travel, Verb problem
apply
books
and clothes.
There are some of similar interest to some of entertaining
needs after decade, Add an article
the entertaining
such
as travelling which always the most popular sales in New Zealand. although
in
2013 has Change preposition
apply
been
declined Unnecessary verb
apply
people
are
still like Unnecessary verb
apply
going
to travel, to refresh their Verb problem
apply
mind
, to know other Fix the agreement mistake
minds
culture
and Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
enjoying
the magnificent Change the verb form
to enjoy
view
. Fix the agreement mistake
views
Other
aspect Change the wording
Another
also
has been Correct pronoun usage
that also
decrease
for a decade is the interest Change the verb form
decreasing
decreased
of
buying Change preposition
in
a
clothes, Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
people
tend to wear or buy the
Correct article usage
apply
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
of
clothes Change preposition
apply
then
it will be durable, so they wouldn’t buy it
all over the years.
Correct pronoun usage
them
On the other hand
, Nowadays people
are becoming more keen on music/film and books
for their entertainment. Technology development and newest
Correct article usage
the newest
discovery
Fix the agreement mistake
discoveries
has
impacted Change the verb form
have
to
their habits in New Zealand, it is good to spend Change preposition
apply
the
time Correct article usage
apply
by
reading Change preposition
apply
books
because books
is
the window Change the verb form
are
of
knowledge.
Change preposition
to
To sum up
, people
are shifting their interest from traveling
to film and music. because Change the spelling
travelling
people
are easy to access and cheap, its
only on the tip of our finger. Replace the word
it's
it is
beside
travelling needs a lot of money to Change preposition
Besides
expend
and not as easy as other be.Verb problem
spend
Submitted by laelanisfi15 on
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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