The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
In present times, the advances in technology have driven people to do their daily activities remotely because they have
convenience
Add an article
the convenience
show examples
of doing all things at
home
.
This
phenomenon certainly has benefits and drawbacks, I firmly believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages and will be clearly described in
this
essay.
To begin
with, working from
home
is one of women's dream jobs , especially working moms
due to
nurturing and observing their children at
home
without worrying about their toddlers.
For example
, during working time at
home
, the marriage could be watched their babies.
Moreover
, it could reduce the cost of transportation and heavy traffic could be decreased. To illustrate, every day in the morning, there are so many vehicles on the roads,
however
, a decision to stay at
home
working remotely can influence the number of cars.
Then
, most companies have benefits in their finance because they can reduce household budgets
such
as electricity and wifi.
On the other hand
, even though it has lots of benefits,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
also
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
drawbacks to anticipate.
Firstly
, a lack of relationships with friends because they rarely meet in the office and get stressed with ease because they only spend their time at
home
.
Furthermore
,
home
-schooling might be not a good choice
due to
children's behaviour because their age most student should be exploring their experiences with friends, most
home
-schooling students are introverts and
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
anti-social. In conclusion, there are advantages for people who choose online activities but
also
it has disadvantages to mitigate.
Submitted by innezgracias on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, due to".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words home with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "reduce" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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