The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
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In present times, the advances in technology have driven people to do their daily activities remotely because they have
convenience
Add an article
the convenience
show examples
of doing all things at
home
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
phenomenon certainly has benefits and drawbacks, I firmly believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages and will be clearly described in
this
Linking Words
essay.
To begin
Linking Words
with, working from
home
Use synonyms
is one of women's dream jobs , especially working moms
due to
Linking Words
nurturing and observing their children at
home
Use synonyms
without worrying about their toddlers.
For example
Linking Words
, during working time at
home
Use synonyms
, the marriage could be watched their babies.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it could reduce the cost of transportation and heavy traffic could be decreased. To illustrate, every day in the morning, there are so many vehicles on the roads,
however
Linking Words
, a decision to stay at
home
Use synonyms
working remotely can influence the number of cars.
Then
Linking Words
, most companies have benefits in their finance because they can reduce household budgets
such
Linking Words
as electricity and wifi.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, even though it has lots of benefits,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
drawbacks to anticipate.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a lack of relationships with friends because they rarely meet in the office and get stressed with ease because they only spend their time at
home
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
home
Use synonyms
-schooling might be not a good choice
due to
Linking Words
children's behaviour because their age most student should be exploring their experiences with friends, most
home
Use synonyms
-schooling students are introverts and
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
anti-social. In conclusion, there are advantages for people who choose online activities but
also
Linking Words
it has disadvantages to mitigate.
Submitted by innezgracias on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, due to".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words home with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "reduce" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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