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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

One of your friends wants to apply for a job at a summer school camp as a trainer. Write a letter to the camp manager to recommend your friend. In your letter: Say how well you know your friend. Describe the qualifications and experience that your friend has. Explain why your friend would be suitable for this job.

#friends #job #summer #school #camp #trainer #manager #friend #qualifications
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to you in order to introduce you to my friend Vladislav who wants to work at your summer camp as a basketball coach. I have known my friend since childhood, since he and I went to kindergarten, school and even
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
university;
moreover
, I am completely confident in him and trust him; he
also
Add a missing verb
is also
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 very kind
with
Change preposition
to
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 children and he has professional communication
skills
. As for his
skills
, you can completely trust him; he has
a
Add a missing verb
had a
show examples
high level of coaching for as many 10 years; he
also
 worked and studied these
skills
 at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
American and British Universities, where he received a high position as a coach and
award
Correct article usage
an award
show examples
 for the best basketball player of the year. He can catch the ball from quite a distance, different techniques for introducing
ball
Correct article usage
the ball
show examples
 and much more. Is he suitable for
this
 significantly difficult and rather labor-demanding job? Of course, yes, he would be very suitable for your camp since he has professional
skills
 in coaching and communication; he is now on vacation and you should not miss the chance by not taking him to
this
 position. I'm looking forward to seeing him at your summer camp. Yours faithfully, Arthur
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea more clearly. For instance, separate the description of your friend’s skills from his suitability for the job into distinct paragraphs for enhanced clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance logical structure by organizing the letter into clear sections: introduction, qualifications, suitability for the job, and closing remarks. Use transition words to smoothly connect sections.
Task Achievement
Increase the completeness of the response by providing specific examples of your friend’s previous coaching successes, how he interacts with children, or any relevant certifications he might hold.
Task Achievement
Maintain a suitable tone for a recommendation letter by balancing professionalism with a personal touch. While your letter is appropriately formal, adding a personal anecdote about your friend's dedication or achievements could enhance the personal aspect.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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