IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You have returned from your vacation staying at a bed and breakfast. When you checked your bank account, you realised you have been charged twice for the deposit. Write a letter to the bed and breakfast host. In your letter: Thank the host for your stay Explain the double deposit charge situation Ask the host for a refund

#vacation #breakfast #bank #account #deposit #host #charge #situation #refund
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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that we got double charged for the wonderful experience at your hotel. My name is Roopkamal and we visited your hotel
last
 weekend . I am really
thankfull
Correct your spelling
thankful
 to our host who
provide
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provides
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us
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our
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 phenomenal customer service experience with
great
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a great
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 deal of food and spa massage in the hotel for two days . Thanks for making my family moments unforgettable.
However
 , When I was coming back
to
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apply
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home
then
 I received
notification
Add an article
a notification
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which state
Wrong verb form
stating
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 that I charged twice for
stay
Correct pronoun usage
my stay
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and
Correct word choice
apply
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I
confirm
Wrong verb form
confirmed
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 with my bank before contacting you , they
also
 verified and
send
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sent
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email
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an email
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 which
confirms
Wrong verb form
confirmed
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 that our payment
gone
Add a missing verb
had gone
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 through twice.
Therefore
 , I would like to request
for
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 refund
and
Correct word choice
apply
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I attached the receipts below ,and
send
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sent
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 my bank
manager
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manager's
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 phone information ,in
a
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apply
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case
for
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of
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query
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the query
a query
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 . I would really appreciate if you please look into
this
 matter and reply back to me as soon as possible. Thank you for your consideration. Yours faithfully, Roopkamal.
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a distinct central idea and is supported by appropriate details. Although your letter generally follows this guideline, elaborating slightly more in each section could ensure your message is even clearer.
task achievement
Maintain a formal tone throughout the letter. While your letter is largely formal, ensuring consistency in language use (e.g., 'thankfull' should be 'thankful', 'send my bank manager phone information' to 'provide my bank manager's contact information') will improve the overall tone.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that the purpose of your letter is clear and that you address all parts of the task. Properly introduce your complaint, provide a clear explanation, and make your request for a refund directly and politely. Your letter does this well, but refining the flow of information can enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, linking words and phrases can improve the flow of your writing. While you have structured your letter reasonably well, using transitions like 'furthermore', 'in addition', and 'consequently' can help in connecting ideas more smoothly.
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