IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line chart illustrates the labour force employment in economic sectors during the period from 1930 to 2010 in USA. These five economic sectors include industrial sector, sales and office, farming and fishing and foresting, technical sector, and other services.

The line chart illustrates the labour force employment in economic sectors during the period from 1930 to 2010 in USA. These five economic sectors include industrial sector, sales and office, farming and fishing and foresting, technical sector, and other services.
#line #labour #force #employment #sectors #period #usa #five #sector #sales #office #services
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The given
line
 graph demonstrates the work staff
hiering
Correct your spelling
hiring
 in the five different sections of
economy
Add an article
the economy
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 over 80 years between 1930 and 2010 in the United States of America. The intended economic sectors consist of industrial, agriculture, fishing and foresting,technical and other services sectors.
Overall
, with a rapid
glance
Add a comma
glance,
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 it is
obviousely
Correct your spelling
obviously
 detectable that the group which
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
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agriculture
Correct article usage
the agriculture
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 sector went on a different pattern from the beginning to the end of the time span of
studym
Correct your spelling
study
while
 other groups
follow
Wrong verb form
followed
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 the same stable pattern in the first half of
duration
Correct article usage
the duration
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 and in the latter one all except
from
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apply
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other services group experienced a slight rise
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 the end point of their graphs. Moving to the details of
light
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the light
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 blue
line
,
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apply
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 shows that the rate of
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
 in
farmingm
Correct your spelling
farming
 fishing and foresting part was almost stable from 1930 to 1960
whith
Correct your spelling
with
which
subtle
Correct article usage
a subtle
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 decreasing
frome
Correct your spelling
from
 just less than 80
employer
Change to a plural noun
employers
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 to just above 60 individuals. Afterward 1960, the
hiering
Correct your spelling
hiring
hearing
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
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 in these sections slumped sharply to reach just a bit above zero
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2010. Diving into the other
line
 of the graphs reveals that despite the purple
line
, which is related to other services employment, and
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
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 approximately stable
around
Change preposition
at around
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 10 over
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
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 80 years, the others after 1980 changed towards the more number of
hierd
Correct your spelling
hard
hired
 cases which ended to 20, 30, and just less than 40 in green, red, and dark blue lines respectively.
Submitted by enayatollahi.at on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words line with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 3 times.
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