Some employers offer their employees subsidised membership of gyms and sport clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Consider the argument from both aspect of this possible debate, and reach conclusion.
#employers #offer #employees #membership #gyms #sport #clubs #staff #work #benefit #argument #aspect #debate #conclusion
Healthy
Correct article usage
A healthy
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
play
Change the verb form
plays
crucial
role Add an article
a crucial
to balance
Change preposition
in balancing
life
and work
in daily activity
thus
number of employers give bonus as join to sport club and gym
to enhance Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
quality
outcome of their business to their staff Add an article
the quality
while
other
have different pointview. In Fix the agreement mistake
others
these
Correct determiner usage
this
essay
we will evaluate both Add a comma
essay,
aspect
of Change to a plural noun
aspects
this
statement and I will explain why people have different opinion
on the same topic and present my way of seeing Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
this
subject.
To commence, some individual are
disagree with Unnecessary verb
apply
this
idea because they think sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
activity
is not priority
for all Add an article
a priority
the priority
wokforces
, Correct your spelling
workers
this
staff believe that there are many noticeable issue
in their Change to a plural noun
issues
work
and life
should be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
therefor
they prefer to give some financial Correct your spelling
therefore
reward
like perks as incentive. They believe that Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
this
kind of financial gives let
them Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
to
choose which Change the verb form
apply
activity
they like freely.
On the other hand
, some people claim that pay
attention to Wrong verb form
paying
well-being
and health Correct article usage
the well-being
employees
so vital because people experience stress Change preposition
of employees
everyday
in their Replace the word
every day
work
life
and sport activity
decrease
stress Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
level
and anxiety in staff Fix the agreement mistake
levels
thus
this
statement effective impact on career activity
so gain the goal become
easier for companies.
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
To
conclusion, planning to Change preposition
In
motive
Replace the word
motivate
worker
for better Fix the agreement mistake
workers
work
is valuable and employers should consider all aspect
of their employees’ Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
life
so that give
Wrong verb form
giving
subsidize
and bonuses should cover Correct your spelling
subsidies
most
Add an article
the most
requirement
of Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
Correct article usage
the workforces
workforces
but not put them under the pressure of going to Fix the agreement mistake
workforce
gym
even if that person has other hobbies.Add an article
the gym
Submitted by zahranajafi107 on
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lexical resource
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to more precise and nuanced in expressing your ideas. Avoid repetitions and aim for variation.
grammatical range and accuracy
Watch out for grammatical errors, especially in verb tense consistency and article usage. Practice more complex sentence structures.
coherence and cohesion
Clarity could be improved by better paragraph structuring. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by examples or explanations.
task achievement
You've presented both sides of the argument, which is great. To strengthen your task achievement, you could include more specific examples to support your points.
balanced argument
Effective presentation of both viewpoints on the issue.
conclusion
A clear effort to reach a conclusion that reflects a personal stance.
understanding of prompt
The introduction sets up the debate well, showing an understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.