The bar graphs illustrate the proportion of who watched reality and game shows in men and women and 16-24, 25-34, 35-44 and 45+ age groups in Australia.

The bar graphs illustrate the proportion of who watched reality and game shows in men and women and 16-24, 25-34, 35-44 and 45+ age groups in Australia.
The bar charts provide gender
dissagregated
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disaggregated
data across different
age
group
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groups
show examples
on the percentage of
Australian
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the Australian
show examples
population who saw reality and game shows.
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that reality shows are more popular
on
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among
show examples
women,
while
the highest percentage of
population
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the population
show examples
who watch game shows are men. The first chart shows that almost 70%
women
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of women
show examples
watch reality shows and the proportion of men who
watched
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
the show is only
aproximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
35%. People
whose
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who
show examples
age
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
more than 45 years old watch the shows most often. The next chart
describe
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describes
show examples
that
female
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females
show examples
are watching the game shows almost as much as
male
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males
show examples
. People whose
age
above 45 years old watch the shows most often,
while
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
between
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
25
Change preposition
of 25
show examples
-34 watch
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
least often.
Submitted by NA on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 9 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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