IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar graphs illustrate the proportion of who watched reality and game shows in men and women and 16-24, 25-34, 35-44 and 45+ age groups in Australia.

The bar graphs illustrate the proportion of who watched reality and game shows in men and women and 16-24, 25-34, 35-44 and 45+ age groups in Australia.
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It is clear that
Linking Words
 the two bar graphs give
a
Correct article usage
apply
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precise
imformation
Correct your spelling
information
 about the percentage of who watched reality and game shows
in
Change preposition
of
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 different genders and duration of ages. For the
realty
Correct your spelling
reality
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 shows, as the top figure shows, the proportion of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 is
abviously
Correct your spelling
obviously
 less than the figure of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
,no more than 40%,
while
Linking Words
 70% of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 watched it.
However
Linking Words
, the figures of
game
Correct article usage
the game
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shows
Fix the agreement mistake
show
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seems
Add the particle
seems to
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 exist no huge difference between
male
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males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
, both approximately 60%. We can
also
Linking Words
 tell from
figures
Correct article usage
the figures
show examples
 that the numbers

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 4 times.
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