IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently visited a famous mobile showroom and you are not happy about the service you received from the company and you have decided to complain about it. Write an email to the company in 150- 200 words to complain about the poor service you received from its employee. In your email, express: • why you went to the shop/office • how the employees behaved to offend you • what you expect the company to do

#showroom #service #company #email #employee #shop #office #employees
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Dear
Store
 Manager, I hope
this
 email finds you well. My name is Lisa Akter, a loyal customer at your
store
, located at Dufferin Mall,
store
 no 12. Unfortunately, I must bring to your attention a rather unpleasant
experienced
Replace the word
experience
show examples
 that I encountered during my recent visit.
To begin
 with, I have visited the
store
 on 22nd April. I wanted to purchase an iPhone for my mother and asked one of your staff about the features of a particular phone. At
first,
he said to give him a few minutes and
then
 did not back to me with information. In the meantime, he started to talk with another customer who just entered the
store
, it seemed that they knew each other. He did not keep me waiting only but
also
 rudely behaved with me. I waited for more than 30 minutes
then
 another staff came to serve me I did not expect
this
 kind of behaviour from your employee and it is
also
 detrimental to the
store
's reputation. Given the inconvenience and disappointment, I would kindly request you to consider a 10% discount as a gesture of goodwill. I look forward to your swift response and resolution. Sincerely, Lisa
Submitted by Lisa Bhuiyan on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to use a range of partitive structures and vocabulary specific to the context of your complaint. This enhances clarity and persuasiveness.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider adding more transition words or phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing the overall coherence.
Task Achievement
When detailing the behavior of the employee, including specific examples of what was said or done can make your complaint more impactful.
Task Achievement
You have clearly communicated the purpose of your visit, the issue you faced, and your expectations for resolution, demonstrating good task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
The letter is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, reflecting good coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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