The bar charts shows the details the percentage of two types of television programmes, namely reality and game shows watched by males and females in different age groups in Australia.

The bar charts shows the details the percentage of two types of television programmes, namely reality and game shows watched by males and females in different age groups in Australia.
The charts illuminate the percentage of two different
variation
Change to a plural noun
variations
show examples
of television
chanels
Correct your spelling
channels
, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
reality and game shows watched by men and women,
devided
Correct your spelling
divided
by age in Australia. Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is readily apparent that females spend
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time more than males in terms of watching TV shows. Interestingly, based on the data shown, the older
people
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
get, the more they spend their time watching shows on TV. The number of
people
who watch reality shows shows a gradual interest rate, the more
people
aged
Replace the word
age
show examples
. Approximately
around
Rephrase
apply
show examples
50% of
16
Correct article usage
the 16
show examples
-
24 years-old
Correct your spelling
24-year-old
group watches
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality shows.
This
number is rising to a maximum of almost 60% in 45 aged
people
above. Despite the downtrend of game shows watching rates, from 50% in
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
generation, it
then
dropped to just roughly 40% in
35
Correct article usage
the 35
show examples
-44 years-old community.
However
,
this
figure is rising to almost 70% in
45
Correct article usage
the 45
show examples
aged
Replace the word
age
show examples
group.
Submitted by Practicexoxo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 7 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: