The pie charts give information about the proportion males and females in employment in six categories divided into manual and non-manual occupations

#information #proportion #males #females #employment #six #categories #occupations

The pie charts show data about the rate of different

gender

Fix the agreement mistake

genders

show examples

in different 6

type

Change to a plural noun

types

show examples

of work

include

Wrong verb form

including

show examples

manual and non-manual.

Overall

, it can be seen that the percentage of general labourers, craft or similar are almost same for female and male, meanwhile, there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

no big differences between

man

and female rate about

this

categories. It is clearly observed that the proportion of

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

who work clerical or related is more than five times

than

Correct word choice

that

show examples

man's

Change noun form

of men

show examples

However

, the total percentage of manual jobs shows that

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

prefer these

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

more than

woman

Fix the agreement mistake

women

show examples

by 62%,

Correct word choice

and 33

show examples

% respectively. So

rate

Add an article

the rate

show examples

of clerical or related is well over than

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

for women.

Moreover

, other non-manual for

woman

Fix the agreement mistake

women

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

slightly more than

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

like 3%.

On the other hand

, managerial and professional is the most popular job for

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

because of the highest percentage(36%).

To sum up

, there is no balance between gender and type of job preferences

Change preposition

apply

show examples

given information.

Submitted by emiretatli7 on Sun May 05 2024

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Vocabulary: Replace the words man with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

158 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts give information about the proportion males and females in employment in six categories divided into manual and non-manual occupations

For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Attending a live performance ( for example a play, concert, or sport event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.