IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You recently purchased an item from a local store, but you are not satisfies with your purchase. Write a letter to the manager of the store. In your letter •Describe the item you bought and why you need it •explain why you are not happy with it •say what you would like the manager to do Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

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Dear Sir / Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my dissatisfaction with a recent purchase of Air Conditioner from your store. We used to have two coolers, which were serving the purpose till
last
Linking Words
 year, but
due to
Linking Words
 the sudden rise in temperature
this
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 year, I and my family decided to have an AC. I bought a 1.5-ton LG split AC from your shop on 20th May 2024, which was sold to us by your salesman Sandeep Kumar. The bill reference number is 123456. For the first few days, the cooling was happening up to the mark, but after that the cooling dropped and the water started to leak significantly. Apart from that, it is making a lot of noise as if it's not an AC but a cooler. Your salesman sold us by saying it's a smart machine which adjusts the temperature based on the surroundings, but nothing of
such
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 is happening. I would request you to please replace
this
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 as soon as possible and send us a new one. If the new one
worksin
Correct your spelling
works in
 a similar way, it would be better if I get a complete refund. I hope you will understand my situation. Yours faithfully, Neha

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task achievement
Overall your response is very clear and covers all the points in the prompt. However, breaking your letter into more paragraphs would improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph is well-connected. Transitional phrases or sentences that link ideas between paragraphs would help.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical or vocabulary errors that can slightly impact the flow of the text.
task achievement
You have clearly described your dissatisfaction with the product and provided all necessary details, like the purchase date and bill reference number.
coherence cohesion
Your letter has a proper greeting and closing, which contributes to its overall formal tone.
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