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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart and graph below give information about three categories of workers in Australia and the unemployment levels within those groups. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart and graph below give information about three categories of workers in Australia and the unemployment levels within those groups. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #three #categories #workers #australia #unemployment #levels #groups #features #comparisons
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Contained in two bar charts is the information pertaining to the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 who have
age
Change the verb form
aged
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 from 60 to 64 in four nations in both genders in 1970 and 2000. The data has been measured in
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
workers
Use synonyms
 in all countries increased throughout the period with the exception of female
workers
Use synonyms
 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and Australia. It should be noted how all male
employments
Correct your spelling
employment
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 has a significant growth. Moving
onto
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the female
workers
Use synonyms
, Belgium and Japan rose gradually from 7 to 8 and from 40 to 43, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 had a steady drop from 38 to 36
while
Linking Words
 Australia decreased from 38 to 36 after 30 years. With regard to the male
workers
Use synonyms
, Belgium had the most significant growth from 19 to 79. In
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, the increase was less remarkably from 55 to 77.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Japan rose slowly from 74 to 86. In Australia, it grew significantly from 47 to 76.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
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