IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The line chart illustrates the proportion of female parliament members in Germany, Italy, France, the UK and Belgium from 2000 to 2012.

The line chart illustrates the proportion of female parliament members in Germany, Italy, France, the UK and Belgium from 2000 to 2012.
The line graph delineates the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of females who were
parliament
Use synonyms
members
Use synonyms
 in 5 European countries
Germany
Use synonyms
, Italy,
France
Use synonyms
, the
UK
Use synonyms
 and
Belgium
Use synonyms
, over the period of 12 years, beginning in 2000. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective. it is obvious that the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of female
members
Use synonyms
 of
parliament
Use synonyms
 in the
Use synonyms
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
,
France
Use synonyms
 and Italy experienced an upward trend,
while
Linking Words
Belgium
Use synonyms
 and
Germany
Use synonyms
 registered a downward trend. As the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of women
parliament
Use synonyms
members
Use synonyms
 in
Germany
Use synonyms
 was the highest,
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 was the lowest There was a dramatic growth in the fraction of female
parliament
Use synonyms
 elements in the
Use synonyms
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 over the period of 12 years (from around 2% to 23%), increasing approximately 11 times. In
Germany
Use synonyms
, the ratio from 2000 to 2004 went down slowly (from about 33% to 35%)
Whereas
Linking Words
 the fraction of women factors of
parliament
Use synonyms
 between 2004 and 2008 in
France
Use synonyms
 and Italy
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
slighttly
Correct your spelling
slightly
 grew,
Belgium
Use synonyms
 stayed steady during the same period of time. In comparison with the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of female
parliament
Use synonyms
members
Use synonyms
 in
Belgium
Use synonyms
, which declined slowly from 2008 to 2012 (22% became 21%), the fraction of
France
Use synonyms
 and Italy increased gradually in the same years 29% to 32% and 32% to 39%, respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, parliament, members, germany, france, uk, belgium with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: