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Band 3.5

The line chart below shows the percentage of of people in different age groups who played video games more than ten hours a week between 1984 and 2003

The line chart below shows the percentage of of people in different age groups who played video games more than ten hours a week between 1984 and 2003
#line #percentage #people #age #groups #video #games #ten #hours #week
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The data illustrates the
propotion
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proportion
 of different age groups who played video games over
than
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apply
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ten
hours
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 per
week
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 from 1984 to 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
,the youngest group who are 16 years old to 24 years old played 40
hours
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 in one
week
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 in 2010 and overtook that of ages
between
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apply
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45 to 54,and
then
Linking Words
dramtically
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dramatically
 rose up to 70
hours
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 per
week
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 in 2015,meanwhile,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 stood at
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 numbers by 2015.we can see that the oldest group who are over 75 years old played
fewest
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the fewest
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time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 per
week
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, the figures stood at 10
hours
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 a
week
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2010
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in 2010
show examples
,and slightly rose to 20
hours
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 in 2011,and later
grudual
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gradual
gradually
 decreased in 2013;
however
Linking Words
, the numbers went up to 20
hours
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 in 2015. In 2010,the ages from 45 to 54 stood at 52
hours
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 in one
week
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,and
then
Linking Words
dramtatically
Correct your spelling
dramatically
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 to 40
hours
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 in 2011.
Submitted by diana1992lin on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, week with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuate
  • trend
  • percentage
  • age group
  • consistent
  • significant
  • decline
  • increase
  • peak
  • plateau
  • demographic
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • proportion
  • level off
  • escalate
  • diminish
  • interval
  • duration
  • prevalence
  • participation
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