The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The represented bar illustrates the percentage of people, who regularly do exercises
due to
their’s
Change noun form
their
show examples
age
and gender in Australia in 2010. It’s evident to observe the interesting pattern that in almost all of the presented life groups, women seem to be more active than men. The only exception from
that is
in the
age
15 to 24 bracket. One of the possible explanations of
this
might be the fact that at
this
time, most of the males don’t have any big responsibilities. They have a lot of both energy and time to do physical exercises or workouts at the gym. When over the
age
of 25 men’s activity drastically drops even to 39.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the group 35 to 44, the
female’s
Change noun form
females
show examples
increases
Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
show examples
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 53.3
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in the
age
group 45 to 54.
This
might be the result of the trend that they usually pick less physically engaging occupations and
also
women are generally more aware of their health. The confirmation of
this
theory may be observed in the 65 and over
age
category, where the numbers between genders are almost the same, with only
0.4
Correct article usage
a 0.4
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
point disparity.
This
is the retirement
age
for many males, which leads them to be more willing to do exercises.
Submitted by piotrsmolik on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Australian men
  • Australian women
  • Age groups
  • Regular physical activity
  • Participated
  • Increased
  • Decreased
  • Proportion
  • Physically active
  • Gender difference
  • Engaged
  • Exercise
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