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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph shows the amount earned graduates of different age groups in 2002. It includes those with a degree, those with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The graph shows the amount earned graduates of different age groups in 2002. It includes those with a degree, those with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#amount #graduates #age #groups #qualifications #information #features #comparison
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The visual illustrates the number of incomes in 2002 between 3 categories who are graduate,postgraduate and
others
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 different ages in every week.The biggest amount of
earning
Verb problem
apply
show examples
money was approximately 850pond in 36-40 years old in
others
Use synonyms
 group. The amount
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
earned between all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
3 groups from 21-25 and 31-35 moved
increasly
Correct your spelling
increasingly
 from
aproximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 350
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 450 to nearly 600 and 700
Use synonyms
pond
Change to a plural noun
ponds
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each week,
also
Linking Words
 there was a boom in
Use synonyms
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
categori
Correct your spelling
categories
 in
age
Use synonyms
 36-40 more than 800
Use synonyms
pond
Change to a plural noun
ponds
show examples
. The number of income in Higher degree shooted nearly 750
pond
Use synonyms
anbut
Correct your spelling
but
 first degree just has an
increace
Correct your spelling
increase
increased
 in36 to 40
ageness
Correct your spelling
ages
ageless
 near 700
Use synonyms
pond
Change to a plural noun
ponds
show examples
. There was a
felactuate
Correct your spelling
fluctuate
in other groups in
age
Use synonyms
 31-35 to 46-50 in
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
gegree
Correct your spelling
degree
. The amount of earning money had
Add an article
a decrease
show examples
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 in both groups which were
others
Use synonyms
 and Higer
degreein
Correct your spelling
degree in
age
Use synonyms
 41-45 in Highers decreased from 810 to 710 and
this
Linking Words
decreace
Correct your spelling
decrease
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
countinues
Correct your spelling
continued
 to less than 700 in ages 56-60,
also
Linking Words
 the Highers were the same in
age
Use synonyms
 41-45 to 51-55 but they had an
increace
Correct your spelling
increase
 in
age
Use synonyms
 56-60 by nearly 800
pond
Use synonyms
 incomes every week.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words others, pond, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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