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Writing Samples /
Band 5

The charts below show the proportions of Bristish students at one university in england who were able to speak other languages in addition to english in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The charts below show the proportions of Bristish students at one university in england who were able to speak other languages in addition to english in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
#show #proportions #bristish #students #university #england #languages #addition #english #summarise #information #features #comparison
The chart shows
proportions
Correct article usage
the proportions
show examples
 of British
students
 at one university in England who can speak
other
Change the wording
another language
other languages
show examples
language
 aside
English
Change preposition
from English
show examples
 in 2000 and 2010. All the data is shown in
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
. The
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
students
 who do not speak another
language
 went down from 2000 to 2010 by 10.
This
 shows that some British
students
 think that they need to speak another
language
 as well.
On the other hand
, another
language
, two other
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
show examples
 and Spanish went up by 5. The number of
students
 who speak German only remains the same. The highest is Spanish only in both 2000 and 2010 which is 30 and 35 respectively. The lowest is two other
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
German only in 2000 and German, French and no other
language
 in 2010 which is 10.
Submitted by lydiaia on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, language with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportions" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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