The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012 You should write at least 150 words.

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries.

The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012

You should write at least 150 words.
The graph illustrates the
percentage
of Australian exports to 4
countries
from 1990 to 2012. 4
countries
are Japan,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
, China and India.
First,
the
percentage
of exports to Japan steadily declined during the period.
Second,
the portion of
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
decreased from 1990 to 1995, but
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
rose
until 2000 and recovered to the peak point of around 13
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
. Afterward, it decreased again and recorded around
7percentage
Correct your spelling
7 per cent
by 2012.
Third,
the
percentage
of China always increased during the period, especially
it
Rephrase
when it
show examples
had a rapid rise from 2000 to 2010.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
the end, it recorded the highest
percentage
, 30%, among 4
countries
.
Lastly
, the
percentage
of India
also
gradually increased by 2010, but it experienced
minor
Add an article
a minor
show examples
drop from 2010. In conclusion, comparing
2012
Correct article usage
the 2012
show examples
status,
export
Correct article usage
the export
show examples
portion to China is the highest. And Japan followed
next,
but
still
Add a comma
still,
show examples
the gap between them is over 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, which is really big.
US
Correct article usage
The US
show examples
and India recorded next and
export
Correct article usage
the export
show examples
percentage
to these
countries
is below
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10%, so it's really low.
Submitted by starmino0113 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, countries with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rised" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Line graph
  • Percentage
  • Exports
  • Trend analysis
  • Upward/downward trend
  • Fluctuation
  • Comparison
  • Peak performance
  • Decline
  • Stability
  • Significant
  • Inferred
  • Global events
  • Economic context
  • Reflect
  • Influence
  • Patterns
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!