IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You live in a small university town.Last week,you drove to a big city about two hours away to buy a new laptop at a good price.You worked on the laptop all week and finished writing a long assignment that is due shortly. However,this week,the laptop doesn't even switch on.Write to the store.In your letter: #Tell the store where you live & what happened #Explain the problem with the laptop #State what action you would like the store to take

#university #town #week #city #two #hours #laptop #price #assignment #doesn #switch #store #action
Dear Sir or Mada My name is John Smith, a faithful customer who has been
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
 at your outlet for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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2 years.I am writing
this
 letter to report the faulty
laptop
 which I have bought from your shop at Samarqand. I got the latest version of
laptop
Correct article usage
the laptop
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 which
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 fully paid for on
23rd
Correct article usage
the 23rd
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 of May.
Initial
Add an article
The initial
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 problem which I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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faced but did not
give
Verb problem
pay
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 attention
is
Verb problem
to was that
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 the screen was blurry.
Moreover
to
Change preposition
apply
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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after using the
laptop
 for
week
Add an article
a week
the week
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 it did not even switch on.I was assured that
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 version of
laptop
Add an article
the laptop
a laptop
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 after using a week
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 been broken.I quickly called for customer service to report and I was put on hold incessantly.
Nevertheless
, I
visted
Correct your spelling
visited
 the and was promised a technician who would come come check my
laptop
, but I have still not been attended to. It's been 2 weeks now and
this
 action is totally unacceptable and abhorrent. I demand a quick refund or a replacement of the
laptop
 by the company as soon as possible or I will take legal action. I look forward to hearing from you within a week. Yours faithfully, John Smith
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Be sure to proofread your letter for minor errors, such as spelling and grammar mistakes, to improve clarity and professionalism.
coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more clearly by using separate paragraphs for different points. This adds to the clarity and coherence of your letter.
task achievement
You provided a clear description of the problem with the laptop and explained the situation logically.
task achievement
You used a professional tone throughout the letter, which is suitable for this type of formal complaint.
coherence cohesion
Your letter includes a greeting and a closing, which adds to the overall structure and formality.

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