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Writing Samples
Band 4

The graph shows the percentage of 15-year-olds with low literacy (reading and writing) levels in four countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features making comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the percentage of 15-year-olds with low literacy (reading and writing) levels in four countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features making comparisons where relevant.
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The line chart
demonestrates
Correct your spelling
demonstrates
 the levels
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 writing and reading in some countries .
Firstly
Linking Words
, both Ireland and Sweden have between 10 and 15
precentage
Correct your spelling
per cent
 in 2003 and 2000 .
Secondly
Linking Words
 , in 2006 Ireland
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 from 10 to 15 and Sweden
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 15 .
Also
Linking Words
 , in 2009 both Sweden and Ireland
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 numbers between 15 to 20 .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , Austria in 2000
has number
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 15 of precentage of low literacy and in 2003 and 2006
has
Verb problem
it was
show examples
 from 20 to 25 .
In addition
Linking Words
 , Austria
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 in 2009 maybe 25 to 30 .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , Denmark has in 2000 15 low literacy
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
 , the graph depicts that Denmark in 2003 and 2006 has from 15 to 20 . Denmark in 2009
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 15 not
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 2000 , 2003 and 2006 .
To conclude
Linking Words
 , not all countries have
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 levels of 15 years
old
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
with reading and writing .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Literacy levels
  • Percentage
  • 15-year-olds
  • Low literacy
  • Reading and writing skills
  • Trends and patterns
  • Comparison
  • Significant differences
  • Similarities
  • Education systems
  • Socio-economic conditions
  • Main findings
  • Improvements
  • Positive trends
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