The line chart illustrates the labour force employment in five economic sectors during the period from 1930 to 2010 in USA. These five economic sectors include industrial sector, sales and office, farming and fishing and foresting, technical sector, and other services.

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The provided chart depicts the changes in various fields people, who live in the U.S., work in between 1930 and 2010.

Overall

, the number of people pursuing farming, fishing and foresting decreased dramatically,

while

other fields experienced a rise in the working staff. By the end of the period, the dominating

labour

forces in employment were industrial and technical jobs,

whereas

farming fell to the

last

place in quantity.

According to

the data, the

labour

forces that achieved growth were the industrial, the technical and the sales and office

sector

Fix the agreement mistake

sectors

show examples

. The number of employees working in the industrial and the technical

labour

forces tripled, achieving a quantity of approximately 35 and 30

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

, respectively. Returning to the remaining data, both farming, fishing and foresting staff and people working in other services decreased.

While

labour

associated with farming suffered a significant fall of 75 million in the working staff, the number of workers for other services went down steadily with a change of 2 million.

Submitted by evijavidemane on Thu Aug 22 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words labour with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

164 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

labour force employment
economic sectors
industrial sector
sales and office
farming and fishing and foresting
technical sector
other services
general trend
consistent rises or falls
dramatically declined
rural economies
shifts in labor demand
industrial boom
recessions
outsourcing trends
post-World War II
digital age
consumer-driven economy
socio-economic factors
technological advancements
broad socio-economic trends
globalization
consumer habits

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The line chart illustrates the labour force employment in five economic sectors during the period from 1930 to 2010 in USA. These five economic sectors include industrial sector, sales and office, farming and fishing and foresting, technical sector, and other services.

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own answers.

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You have just won two tickets to a concert and want to invite your friend to go with you. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter: give details about the concert describe how you won the tickets explain why you have chosen your friend to go with you

Some people believe that history should be taught to children at school. Others however, believe that there are other subjects that are more relevant to children’s lives today. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.