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Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise it.

The diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes. Summarise it.
#diagrams #show #stages #equipment #process #cement #purposes #summarise
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The diagram illustrates the stages and tools used in the process of making
cement
Use synonyms
 and producing concrete with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cement
Use synonyms
 for building purposes. First of all, limestone and clay is crushed into powder by the crusher.
Then
Linking Words
 it is mixed by the mixer and heated by the rotating heater. After the heated mixture is
grinded
Correct your spelling
ground
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, it becomes
a
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cement
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
cement
Use synonyms
 is packed in bags for reselling and other purposes. In the second diagram, we can see that the process of making concrete is simple compared to producing
cement
Use synonyms
. Concrete is made by mixing four different substances : 15%
of
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cement
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, 10%
of
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water, 25%
of
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sand and 50%
of
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gravel which are small stones.
Overall
Linking Words
, making
cement
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 needs various tools as
cement
Use synonyms
 is produced by mixing, heating and grinding limestone and clay.
However
Linking Words
, making concrete only needs a mixer as it is produced by mixing substances.
Submitted by wjddbs2206 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cement with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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