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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts illustrate information about the rate of
British
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 who can speak other languages
in addition
Linking Words
 to
English
Use synonyms
 at one university in England in 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, people were able to speak bilingual, which was the most popular in the two surveyed years.
To begin
Linking Words
 with the first chart, there was 60% of individuals, who were bilingual in 2000. Among these, the majority of
British
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students
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 can communicate in
English
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 and Spanish at 20%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
students
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 who spoke French and
English
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 were equal
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 individuals
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
 another language
in addition
Linking Words
 to
English
Use synonyms
. The rest proportion in the bilingual people were
students
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 who spoke German and
English
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. There were approximately one-third
students
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, who only used
English
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 for communication.
Besides
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, there were only 10%
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British
Change preposition
of British
show examples
students
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 communicated in three languages. Turning toward the second graph, It is readily apparent that
students
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, who were bilingual, were the most popular at half of the total people in 2010.
British
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students
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 used French, German and Spanish without
English
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 are similar at 10%.
While
Linking Words
students
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, who spoke another language, accounted for 20%. It is worth noting that the proportion of
students
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 who were able to speak three languages increased from 10% to 15% after 10 years. Meanwhile, the ratio of
students
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 who only spoke
English
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also
Linking Words
 rose by 5% during the observation periods.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words british, students, english with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • multilingualism
  • globalisation
  • immigration
  • education policy
  • career prospects
  • cultural understanding
  • distribution
  • percentage
  • increased/decreased
  • significant
  • trends
  • shifts
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