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Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart below gives information on the birth rate among women in England, from 1973 to 2020. The figures are measured in births per 1000 women.

The chart below gives information on the birth rate among women in England, from 1973 to 2020. The figures are measured in births per 1000 women.
#information #birth #rate #women #england #figures #births
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The
line
 graph highlights data
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 many
women
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 born in England
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1973 to 2020 . Which are births per 1000
famles
Correct your spelling
families
females
.
Overall
, over the years the most popular gender of
women
 was between 20 to 25
in contrast
 the yellow
line's
Change the noun form
lines
line
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lost
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 interest for
women
 for unchanged
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost the years.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 the
women
Correct quantifier usage
number of women
show examples
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
age
Add an article
an age
show examples
 between 28 to 34
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 was increased generally
while
 the blue
line
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
kept the numbers under around 20 throughout
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 . Looking at the details, in 1973 the age nuder 20 and over 40
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 have
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 rate until
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2008
although
 there was
rise
Add an article
a rise
show examples
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
women
 of age
nuder
Correct your spelling
under
show examples
 20 to reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20 per 1000
famles
Correct your spelling
families
females
while
 aged 40
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 below 20.
On the other hand
 , the orange figures saw the highest level in 1973
after
Correct word choice
and after
show examples
 that
being to decrease
Verb problem
decreased
show examples
 dramatically even
2008
Change preposition
in 2008
show examples
 year
next,
at the end
line
Correct article usage
the line
show examples
 was made up
20
Change preposition
of 20
show examples
 per 1000
women
 .regarding the grey
line
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 until 1980
then
 it had the
Correct your spelling
same
samed
Correct your spelling
same
 level after which overtaking the orange
line
 to growth till in
last
 period in the chart
Submitted by sialamer on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words line, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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