Methods of transporation for people travelling to one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009 in the UK. The two pie charts compare five categories of UK travelling percentage of university (train, bicycle, bus, walking, car,) from 2004 to 2009) Units are measured in proportion. as
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The two different pie charts contrast five various categories of UK travelling proportion of
university
between 2004 and 2009.
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
Overall
, there are some methods of transportation for all people
to one university, for walk or study. In 2004, the percentage of carriage
Fix the agreement mistake
carriages
is
Correct your spelling
in
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
which
was higher than Correct pronoun usage
apply
proportion
of Add an article
the proportion
carriage
in 2009 and lower one was Fix the agreement mistake
carriages
train
in 2004 which was 3% and 4% in 2009.
In 2004, Fix the agreement mistake
trains
people
used a car more than other transports
which was included just over a half. Fix the agreement mistake
transport
However
, using a
Correct your spelling
of
car
significantly declined by 2009 and Fix the agreement mistake
cars
people
started move
by bus which was 46%.
Change the form of the verb
moving
Moreover
, the lowest percentage of travelling in
each year was Change preposition
apply
train
which Change preposition
by train
were
an insignificant minority and 4%. It was inconvenient for Change the verb form
was
people
who move
inside of city.
Wrong verb form
moved
Subsequently
, the proportion of bicycle
was an insignificant minority in 2004 and Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
finally
16% in 2009. Also
, it was convenient for people
who lived close to the
work, school Correct article usage
apply
or
university and other places.
Correct word choice
apply
Finally
, the percentage of walking was 4% in 2004 and 6% in 2009.Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 2 times.
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