Methods of transporation for people travelling to one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009 in the UK. The two pie charts compare five categories of UK travelling percentage of university (train, bicycle, bus, walking, car,) from 2004 to 2009) Units are measured in proportion. as

Methods of transporation for people travelling to one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009 in the UK.

 The two pie charts compare five categories of UK travelling percentage of university (train, bicycle, bus, walking, car,) from 2004 to 2009) Units are measured in proportion. as
The two different pie charts contrast five various categories of UK travelling proportion of
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
between 2004 and 2009.
Overall
, there are some methods of transportation for all
people
to one university, for walk or study. In 2004, the percentage of
carriage
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carriages
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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was higher than
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
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of
carriage
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carriages
show examples
in 2009 and lower one was
train
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trains
show examples
in 2004 which was 3% and 4% in 2009. In 2004,
people
used a car more than other
transports
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transport
show examples
which was included just over a half.
However
, using
a
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
significantly declined by 2009 and
people
started
move
Change the form of the verb
moving
show examples
by bus which was 46%.
Moreover
, the lowest percentage of travelling
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each year was
train
Change preposition
by train
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which
were
Change the verb form
was
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an insignificant minority and 4%. It was inconvenient for
people
who
move
Wrong verb form
moved
show examples
inside of city.
Subsequently
, the proportion of
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
was an insignificant minority in 2004 and
finally
16% in 2009.
Also
, it was convenient for
people
who lived close to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work, school
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
university and other places.
Finally
, the percentage of walking was 4% in 2004 and 6% in 2009.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 2 times.

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