IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The line chart illustrates the labour force employment in five economic sectors during the period from 1930 to 2010 in USA. These five economic sectors include industrial sector, sales and office, farming and fishing and foresting, technical sector, and other services.

The line chart illustrates the labour force employment in five economic sectors during the period from 1930 to 2010 in USA. These five economic sectors include industrial sector, sales and office, farming and fishing and foresting, technical sector, and other services.
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The line bar above gives information about five
section
Change to a plural noun
sections
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 of USA labour force employment between 1930 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, except for farming,fishing and foresting which experienced
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
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 trend and other services that
was
Change the verb form
were
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 steady, other sectors
such
Linking Words
 as industrial, sales
and
Correct word choice
apply
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office and technical had witnessed upward trends. The farming,fishing and foresting rate started at over 70% in 1930 and by the year 1970 it
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
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 quickly
anf
Correct your spelling
and
finally
Linking Words
 hit the bottom line
at
Change preposition
in
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 2010 with nearly 5 percentages.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 other services section didn't fluctuate much during
this
Linking Words
 period of 80 years. Other sections
such
Linking Words
 as industrial, sales
and
Correct word choice
apply
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office and technical started at
low
Add an article
a low
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 rate
about
Change preposition
of about
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 10% and over 80
year
Change to a plural noun
years
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 they had
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
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 increase and
Correct pronoun usage
their rates
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rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
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of
Change preposition
apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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at the end
Linking Words
 of year 2010 was 35%, 20% and 35%
perspectivly
Correct your spelling
respectively
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • labour force employment
  • economic sectors
  • industrial sector
  • sales and office
  • farming and fishing and foresting
  • technical sector
  • other services
  • general trend
  • consistent rises or falls
  • dramatically declined
  • rural economies
  • shifts in labor demand
  • industrial boom
  • recessions
  • outsourcing trends
  • post-World War II
  • digital age
  • consumer-driven economy
  • socio-economic factors
  • technological advancements
  • broad socio-economic trends
  • globalization
  • consumer habits
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