The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. IELTS Diagram

#proportions #graduates #brighton #university #employment #sectors #summarise #information #features #comparisons #ielts

Firstly

, the diagram given depicts the percentage of people who graduated from Brighton University that

joining

Wrong verb form

joined

show examples

multiple

employement

Correct your spelling

employment

fields in 2019.

Secondly

, as we can see, there were only four

aspect

Change to a plural noun

aspects

show examples

that

reach

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

more than 10% and it begins with service industries

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

were the most favourite area for the individuals that they

find

Wrong verb form

found

show examples

out after

graduated

Wrong verb form

graduating

show examples

and the number

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

one third

Add a hyphen

one-third

show examples

of all participants.

Next,

the second biggest proportion

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

manufacturing

Correct article usage

the manufacturing

show examples

industry, followed by education and

then

, politics &

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

which respectively around 16.3%, 14.7% and 12.1%.

Subsequently

, the number of transportation and

warehouse

Fix the agreement mistake

warehouses

show examples

were quite similar with science and

techonology

Correct your spelling

technology

around 7.8% and 7.3%

sequently

Correct your spelling

respectively

Morever

Correct your spelling

Moreover

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

sectors number were 2.8 % and twice

Change preposition

apply

show examples

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

given to civil service

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

5.6%.

Finally

, the

last

bottom two which only under 1% nominated to charity with 0.3% and closed by sport with just 0.1%.

Overall

, there are ten sectors provided which the largest and the smallest respectively are service industry and sport area.

Submitted by pumasembiring on Sat Nov 02 2024

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

166 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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