The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in the different age groups who did physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant
#bar #percentage #australian #men #women #age #groups #activity #summarise #information #features #comparison
The
graph
shows about
the Change preposition
apply
Percentage
of Australian men
and women doing regular physical activity in 2010. From
Change preposition
This
this
graph
that have
been shown the Change the verb form
has
age
group
from 15 years
old up to 24 years
old men
had a percentage
in
52.8 Change preposition
of
percent
and for the female is 47.7 Change the spelling
per cent
percent
, for the 25 Change the spelling
per cent
until
34 Change preposition
to
years
old men
had 42.2 percent
Change the spelling
per cent
while
female
had Add an article
the female
a
48.9 Correct article usage
apply
percent
, for the Change the spelling
per cent
age
group
of 35 to 44 has a percentage
men
of about 39.5 percent
Change the spelling
per cent
while
female
had a 52.5 Add an article
the female
percent
. For the Change the spelling
per cent
age
group
of 45 until
54 Change preposition
to
men
has
a Wrong verb form
had
percentage
of 43.1 percent
Change the spelling
per cent
while
53.5 percent
, next on the Change the spelling
per cent
age
of
Change preposition
apply
group
55 to 64 men
had a percentage
of 45.1 percent
and Change the spelling
per cent
female
had Fix the agreement mistake
females
a
53 Correct article usage
apply
percent
and Change the spelling
per cent
lastly
the group
age
Replace the word
aged
of
65 and above Change preposition
apply
men
had a percentage
of 46.7 while
female
had 47.1 Add an article
the female
percent
.
Change the spelling
per cent
This
graph
had shown
that the Total Wrong verb form
shows
percentage
of Australian men
and women doing regular physical activity has
a total more Verb problem
is
female
in Fix the agreement mistake
females
percentage
since
the Change preposition
from
age
of
Change preposition
apply
group
of
25 Change preposition
apply
years
old until 34 years
old. This
graph
had told
us that Wrong verb form
tells
female
had more regular physical activities in Australia in 2010. Fix the agreement mistake
females
Male
had more regular physical activity Fix the agreement mistake
Males
in
the Change preposition
from
age
of 15 until 24 years
old since then
female
had more regular physical activities in Australia.Fix the agreement mistake
females
Submitted by lydiaia on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, percentage, men, age, group, years, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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