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Band 3

The unemployment rates in the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan, 1933 and 2007

#unemployment #rates #uk #rest #europe #japan
The chart demonstrates the number of unemployed candidates in
Japan
,
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of
Europe
 &
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 over a period of 14 years. Generally in 1993, the
UK
 had the highest
unemployment
 rates compared to
Japan
,
Japan
 had the lowest percentage of
unemployment
,
in
Correct word choice
and in
show examples
 2007, the
rest
 of
Europe
 recorded the highest rate of
unemployment
,
while
Japan
 still remained
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom of the list . Over a
seven years
Correct your spelling
seven-year
show examples
 period, starting from 1993,
Japan
 gradually climbed 2%,
although
 it is still
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom of the list,
while
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 significantly offered new job opportunities and recorded a sudden dramatic decrease from 11% to 6% .
Additionally
, the
rest
 of
Europe
 slightly fluctuated,
endingly
Correct your spelling
ending
 reaching the same 7% as it started. During the period of 2001 till 2007, the
rest
 of
Europe
 remained on the top of the list, with an
unemployment
 percentage of 7%,
while
Japan
 and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 slightly fluctuated until they reached a percentage of 4% and 6%, respectively.
Submitted by Mido  on

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly defines the time span ('14 years') correctly as being from 1993 to 2007. The conclusion should briefly summarize the overall trend without introducing new data.
task achievement
Provide a clearer narrative for each region over time. Explain in more detail why certain trends occurred, if possible. Ensure that each paragraph consistently describes data from 'rest of Europe, the UK, and Japan'.
task achievement
The essay identifies and compares changes in unemployment in different regions.
coherence and cohesion
Logical structure allows the reader to understand the progression of data over time.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Unemployment rate
  • Fluctuation
  • Economic growth
  • Economic recovery
  • Comparative analysis
  • Steady decline
  • Modest stability
  • Broader economic challenges
  • Economic reform
  • Structural issues
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