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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts above show the percentage of food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The charts above show the percentage of food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #food #budget #restaurant #meals #years #restaurants #summarise #data #features #comparisons
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The given diagrams depict the data of
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
food
 budget among different families all over the world.
Statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
Statistics
show examples
 of which type of restaurant main
budged
Correct your spelling
budget
show examples
 is spent provided. There are fast
food
 and sit-down
restaurants
.
According to
 the given pie charts, it is seen
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
percentage of
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 budget spent
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 each type during the years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1970 till 2000.
Firstly
, in the past home cooking was the most popular way of getting
food
. It was about 90
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 budget.
Nevertheless
, from
year
 to
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
 restaurant meals were slightly increasing. In 1990 fast
food
restaurants
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 already filled more than
third
Correct article usage
a third
show examples
 part.
Furthermore
, the
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
showed
such
unbelieveable
Correct your spelling
unbelievable
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
, it became exactly
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half. Ultimately, home cooking extremely plunges from
year
 to
year
.
Thus
,
restaurants
 have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great prosperity nowadays. Taking into consideration, fast
food
 and sit-down
restaurants
 have roughly the same popularity. So, fast
food
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
 more popular nowadays.
Submitted by strogiy2008 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words food, restaurants, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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