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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

WRITING The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Grams per person per week Fish and meat consumption 300 250 200 50 150 大家 Chicken .com Beef 100 Lamb 50 Fish 0 1979 1984 1989 1994 1999 2004

WRITING The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Grams per person per week Fish and meat consumption 300 250 200 50 150 大家 Chicken .com Beef 100 Lamb 50 Fish 0 1979 1984 1989 1994 1999 2004
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The line graph presents data about meat and Fish
consumption
Use synonyms
 in one European country From 1979 to 2004 .
overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
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chicken
consumption
Use synonyms
 has been on the rise throughout the Years, But as for beef and
lamb
Add a comma
lamb,
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 the numbers are declining at a similar rate,
whereas
Linking Words
 Fish
Consumption
Use synonyms
 remains Steady. In detail, beef
consumption
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 started at almost 210
grams
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 a week per Person but the number Kept Fluctuating
down
Change preposition
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to nearly
a
Correct article usage
apply
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100
grams
Use synonyms
 in 2004. chicken and lamb
consumption
Use synonyms
 in 1979 was the same with approximately150
grams
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 per person, Yet the chicken line Kept escalating reaching 250
grams
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 by 2004 , but the reverse is true for
lamp
Add an article
the lamp
a lamp
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 which witnessed a dramatic decrease over the Years Finishing at virtually 70
grams
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 by 2004 , Fish
on the other hand
Linking Words
 remained relatively stable at 50
grams
Use synonyms
 per person each week .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, grams with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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