IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The charts below show the proportions of British students at oen university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

#show #proportions #british #students #oen #university #england #languages #addition #english
this
pai
Correct your spelling
pie
 chart provides
a key information
Remove the article
key information
a piece of key information
show examples
 about the
level
 of British
students
 at England university who speak other
languageslanguage
Correct your spelling
languages language
language language
 with English between 2000 and 2010.
overall
.
students
 who
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not speak other languages in 2000 were more than in
2010
Change the article
the 2010
show examples
 year, and the percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
 that speak two other languages was the same thing in 2000 and 2010 hail who talks Spanish only at the highest
level
 both years
according to
 what
showed
Wrong verb form
is shown
show examples
 in the
pir
Correct your spelling
PIR
show examples
 chart the
level
 of
students
 that not speak
other language
Change the wording
another language
other languages
show examples
 in 2000 was 15% but the percentage in 2010 was higher by 5%,
on the other
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
 student who spoke two other languages in 2000 and 2010 was 10% as we showed dose not changed. in terms,
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 university
students
 who speak Spanish only are the most rete in data . in 2000 was 30% and
it
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 2010 the
level
 grew to be 35
Submitted by joudyasser805 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words level, students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: