The graphs below compare the number of cosmetic procedures performed on males and females in Korea in 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#graphs #procedures #males #females #korea #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The line bar illustrates the number of plastic surgeries

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

conducted in Korea, specifically for

men

in 2004, who underwent mainly four types of cosmetic operations It is obvious that the most popular procedure

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Korean's

Change noun form

Korean

show examples

men

preferred

Wrong verb form

prefer

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to do is

the

Correct article usage

apply

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hair transplantation , which reached up to 60 surgeries

Change preposition

during

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the period of the study.

Moreover

it is clear that

laser skin resurfacing occupied the second most desirable plastic surgery by

men

at around 58 cases.

Whereas

, the least common demanding

operation

Change the noun form

operations

show examples

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

facelt

Correct your spelling

facelift

felt

surgery and abdominoplasty at approximately 16 and 19 respectively.

To conclude

, the figures show that Korean

men

concentrate on cosmetic surgery that

attempt

Correct subject-verb agreement

attempts

show examples

to enhance the skin and hair features more than other parts of the body.

Submitted by asma00071 on Wed Nov 13 2024

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words men with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

124 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cosmetic procedures
males
females
Korea
2004
compare
contrast
most common
least common
significant trends
patterns
popularity
specific procedures
differences
number of procedures
data
general comparison

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The graphs below compare the number of cosmetic procedures performed on males and females in Korea in 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, doctors can become very rich. Maybe they should not focus on profitable activities such as plastic surgery or looking after rich patients and concentrate more on patient's health, no matter how rich they are. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?