The graphs below show the percentage of graduates that got full-time jobs after graduating from a university in Australia, and the average salary of both these types of graduates, from 2004 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the percentage of graduates that got full-time jobs after graduating from a university in Australia, and the average salary of both these types of graduates, from 2004 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The illustration compares the proportion of
Math
graduates
with Other
graduates
who got into full-time jobs
afte
Correct your spelling
after
passing from a certain Australian university,
while
the chart compares their average income between the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
2004 and 2012.
Slighlty
Correct your spelling
Slightly
more than three quarters of the
Math
graduates
get the full-time work after passing from the university
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
the
mentoned
Correct your spelling
mentioned
period with
only
Add an article
an only
show examples
minor increase in the year 2008.
Compare
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
to
Math
graduates
, 65% of the other group of people started
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
full-time job in 2004.Their number increased significantly in the next 2 years ,surpassing the
Math
graduates
in 2006 , after which it
fells
Correct your spelling
fell
show examples
constanly
Correct your spelling
constantly
to end the period at approximately the same level as it was in 2004. Both the groups of people were getting on average the same amount of salary of $41000 in the year 2004.
Although
salaries of both groups increased during the mentioned period ,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
Math
graduates
Change noun form
graduate's
graduates'
show examples
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
increased more rapidly than Other
graduates
and
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
$56000 in 2012
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
to $51000
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
other
graduates
.
Submitted by saadanwer89 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words math, graduates with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Graduates
  • Full-time employment
  • Average salary
  • Fluctuating trend
  • Correlation
  • Coincide
  • Stagnated salaries
  • Sector influence
  • Cyclical economic factors
  • Employment percentages
  • Salary trends
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!