IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the comparison of time spent, in minutes per day, by UK males and females on household and leisure activities in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The charts below show the comparison of time spent, in minutes per day, by UK males and females on household and leisure activities in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#show #comparison #time #minutes #uk #males #females #household #leisure #activities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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These two graphs depict the
time
Use synonyms
 consumed by men and
women
Use synonyms
 on housework and leisure
activities
Use synonyms
 and show the difference between them in 2008. It is clear from the graph that
women
Use synonyms
 achieved the highest ratio in cooking and washing homework.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, for the housework
activities
Use synonyms
,
women
Use synonyms
 spent around 75
minutes
Use synonyms
 a day preparing food and cleaning,
whereas
Linking Words
 men spent less than half of that
time
Use synonyms
.
Women
Use synonyms
 appear to have a preference for shopping, clothing washing and ironing more than men by around 10
minutes
Use synonyms
 and 20
minutes
Use synonyms
, respectively. The table shows the leisure
activities
Use synonyms
 per day for both genders.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
males generally invested more
time
Use synonyms
 than females in
this
Linking Words
 category. The estimated peak
time
Use synonyms
 of consumption in TV, radio and video watching was 137
minutes
Use synonyms
 a day , which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is more than females by around 20
minutes
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that males did not prefer to full
time
Use synonyms
 with homework
activities
Use synonyms
 like females with one exception
happened
Correct pronoun usage
that happened
show examples
 in the repair field.
Submitted by alenezinada98 on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, women, activities, minutes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Comparison
  • Household activities
  • Leisure activities
  • Average
  • Significantly more/less
  • Markedly more/less
  • Striking difference
  • Counterparts
  • Societal norms
  • Differing interests
  • Dedicated time
  • Household tasks
  • Maintenance
  • Repairs
  • Pursuits
  • Socializing
  • Gender divide
  • Traditional roles
  • Allocation of time
  • Reflects
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