The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The aim of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

report is to analyse the
employment
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sectors
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of
graduates
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from Brighton University in 2019.
Overall
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the graph indicates that among
graduates
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there is a clear leading
employment
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sector
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of Service industries making up over a third of the pie graph. The second most popular
employment
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sector
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is the Manufacturing industry with approximately twice less of
graduates
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choosing it. Moving on, two
sectors
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are standing pretty close with Education employing 14,7% of
graduates
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and
Politics
Correct article usage
the Politics

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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& government
sector
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being just below at 12,1% of
graduates
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. There are two more
sectors
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with just about the same
employment
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statistics, that being Transportation and warehousing standing at 7,8% and Science & technology just beneath with 7,3% of
graduates
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being employed . As shown in the pie chart, a very small number of
graduates
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'
employment
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goes to the
sector
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of Civil service - 5,3% and even smaller numbers to the Charity and
Sport
Fix the agreement mistake
Sports

It seems that Sport may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
sectors
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Lastly
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, a
little
Correct word choice
small

There may be an adjective issue here.

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part of
graduates
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, accumulating 2,8%, belong to a
sector
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called “Other”,
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they are employed
elsewhere
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. Generally, the largest part of
graduates
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from Brighton University were employed in the
sector
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of Service industries and the smallest part in Sport.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, sectors, graduates, sector with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • employment sectors
  • graduates
  • significant
  • percentage
  • trend
  • compare
  • most chosen
  • least popular
  • distribution
  • highlight
  • graduate destinations
  • notable
  • cohesive understanding
  • employment trends
  • pie chart
  • bar chart
  • overview
  • chosen career paths
  • sector popularity
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