You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter •say what you have learned in your present job •suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department •explain why you do not wish to leave the company

#job #two #years #career #development #move #department #company #manager #•say #•suggest #•explain

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Dear Andy, I am writing to let you know about a potential change in my job role in the association. For the

last

Linking Words

two years, I have been working in the procurement department and I have achieved many skills like supplier handling, organising office documents and payment mechanisms. Undoubtedly, these have increased my

overall

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professional skills.

However

Linking Words

, now I am motivated to see myself in the commercial department.

This

Linking Words

new opportunity would allow me to explore new horizons of experience

as well as

Linking Words

utilize my recent experience to be utilised.

Thus

Linking Words

, the company would

also

Linking Words

benefit as no extra manpower needs to be hired for new work.

In addition

Linking Words

, I

also

Linking Words

prefer to inform you that, I am not eager to leave the company in

this

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situation. I am really grateful to

this

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association for the facility and scope I have been provided and I believe I have more fascinating things to acquire. I think

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

I have lots to give in return

also

Linking Words

and

thus

Linking Words

add more value to the company. I am looking forward to receiving a positive response with a few valuable suggestions from you. Yours sincerely Shoaib Ahmed

Submitted by shafaeat.shoaib on Sun Jan 19 2025

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph is focused on a single idea for clarity and coherence.

task achievement

Try to explore each point a bit more fully to provide a complete response.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing are appropriate and add professionalism.

task achievement

A polite and positive tone is maintained throughout the letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

191 words

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Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. While other people think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both side and give your opinion

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in some countries, more and more people are becoming intrested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. what are the reason for this ? how can people research this ?