The two pie charts give information on the propotion of males and females in employment in six general categories in 1992, they divided into manual and non-manual

The two pie charts give information on the propotion of males and females in employment in six general categories in 1992, they divided into manual and non-manual
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The two pie charts give information on the propotion of males and females in employment in six general categories in 1992, they divided into manual and non-manual
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The data demonstrates the portion of
smokers
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who are adult males in seven nations
in addition
Linking Words
to the
world
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average in 2000 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is notable that
cigaret
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cigarette
consumption by males trended downwards during
this
Linking Words
period throughout the
world
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.
Though
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, some countries showcased an increase in
smokers
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. Looking in closer detail at the chart, it is observable that Armenia, Bangladesh, Cuba , Mexico and Australia were states where the male
smokers
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rate plummeted within
this
Linking Words
time span of 15 years. Indeed, Armenia,Bangladesh and Cuba are countries where more than half of the male population used to smoke in 2000, which was significant compared with the
world
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average
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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was about 40%.
However
Linking Words
, Armenia,
Bengladesh
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Bangladesh
, Mexico and
Autralia
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Australia
witnessed a dramatic decrease whilst there
were
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was
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no
noteworhty
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noteworthy
change
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changes
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in Cuba. With regard to other figures, Egypt and Lebanon were the two nations
amongst
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among
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the seven countries, where the percentage of male
smokers
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growth
Replace the word
grew
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
the
world
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average declined, these aforementioned states presented a surge in the proportion of male
smokers
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, accounting for more than 40% in 2015.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words smokers, world with synonyms.
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