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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Percentage of Australian men and women doing regular physical activity: 2010 60 7 52.8 52.5 53.3 53 50 47.7 48.9 46.7 47.1 45.1 42.2 43.1 39.5 Percentage (%) 40 30 20 10 0' 15 to 24 25 to 34 35 to 44 45 to 54 Age group 55 to 64 65 and over Male Female

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Percentage of Australian men and women doing regular physical activity: 2010 60 7 52.8 52.5 53.3 53 50 47.7 48.9 46.7 47.1 45.1 42.2 43.1 39.5 Percentage (%) 40 30 20 10 0' 15 to 24 25 to 34 35 to 44 45 to 54 Age group 55 to 64 65 and over Male Female
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The chart compares the percentage of male and female Australians in six different
age
Use synonyms
 groups; 15 to 24, 25 to 34, 35 to 44, etc., who exercised regularly in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the proportion of men that engaged in regular physical activity decreased until the
age
Use synonyms
 of 44,
then
Linking Words
 grew throughout,
whereas
Linking Words
 , in
women
Use synonyms
, it rose steadily until 64 and
then
Linking Words
 fell significantly, with the two genders
were
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 approximately the same at 65 and above.
To begin
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, looking at the group under 45 years, in the 35-44
age
Use synonyms
 group,
women
Use synonyms
 exercised almost 15% more than men.
Likewise
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 in those between 24 and 34, about 48.9% of guys and 42.2% of the ladies accounted for
this
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 practice.
However
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, it was more in male teenagers (52.8%) than female ( almost 48%) within 15- 24 years old.
Furthermore
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, turning to the
age
Use synonyms
 grades above 44 years, approximately 54% of
women
Use synonyms
 between 45-54
contantly
Correct your spelling
constantly
 worked out the most in the population. People in the 55 to 64
age
Use synonyms
 group had similar results. In
this
Linking Words
 category,
women
Use synonyms
 were leading the opposite gender by almost 9%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, at an advanced stage, 65 and above, the two genders were at around the same rate, with men just around 1% above.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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