IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

QUESTION: The bar chart shows the literacy rate (% of people who can read and write) by region and gender in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

QUESTION: The bar chart shows the literacy rate (% of people who can read and write) by region and gender in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart illustrates a change in the percentage of literacy rates of males and females in different regions in 2011. Overview, % of people who can read and write in were the highest in Central
Asia
Use synonyms
,
Central
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In central
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/ Eastern Europe,
East
Correct word choice
and East
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Asia
Use synonyms
/ Pacific, almost no gender gap.
However
Linking Words
, South and West
Asia
Use synonyms
 and Sub-Saharan Africa had the lowest portion, especially for ladies. The number of people
an
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with an
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 education in Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 was about 100%, and it was the same as in Central/ Eastern Europe, including
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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. In East
Asia
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 speed was lower than in the previous areas, but there was still not too much difference between the two sexes.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the education rates were the
shortest
Correct word choice
lowest
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 in the places which was Sub-Saharan Africa, with nearly 80% for men and 60% for women. In the other 3 zones, the figure tended to decrease. The rate for manly was nearly 100%, for women was about more than 80%, the ratio in the 2 groups of people had
Correct article usage
a significantly
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significantly
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significant
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 imbalance. The biggest difference was in North and West
Asia
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, the gap in the sexual was more than 20%, and just over 60
percent
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per cent
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 of girls were educated.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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