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Writing Samples
Band 8

The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group in 2006.

The world health organization recommends that people should eat five or more portion of fruit and vegetables per day. The bar chart shows the percentage of males and females in the UK by age group in 2006.
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The bar chart below shows the number of males and females in each age
group
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 who eat more than five portions of fruit and vegetables per day, based on World Health Organization data. There are seven age groups: 19-24, 25-34, 35-44, 45-54, 55-64, 65-74, and above 75. Units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
 in 2006, women tended to consume green products per day more than men in every age
group
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. The 55-64
group
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 consumed the most fruit and vegetables with 35 per
cent
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 for females and about 32 per
cent
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 for males, followed by the 65-74
group
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, which ranked second.
However
Linking Words
, the British people who seemed to be younger had a lower number of people eating more portions of fruit and vegetables. Especially, the 19-24
group
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 had only 15 per
cent
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 in boys and about 16 per
cent
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 in girls. In conclusion, people aged above 55 had an upward trend in having five or more portions of vitamins and greenery food
while
Linking Words
 many younger populations aged under 44 years old seemed to dislike eating these kinds of provisions.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words group, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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