Write a letter to the manager of your local bus service. They have recently made some changes to the bus services which created inconveniences for you. In your letter, explain: what are the changes what are the problems you are facing what part of the service would you like to change

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

letter in connection to the recent changes that
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred

If you don’t want occured to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in the
bus
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

service and created problems
to
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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travellers.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the utmost
changed
Replace the word
change

The word changed doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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in the routes of the buses.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
bus
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

authority did not put any notice on the wall of
bus
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

stations
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

public transport did not allow any deduction on the tickets who are working in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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government offices. Apart from the changes, there are several problems which people are facing like
reach to
Wrong verb form
reaching

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb reach to. Consider changing it.

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work on
proper
Correct word choice
apply

There may be an adjective issue here.

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time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, they have to wait in
a long queues
Correct the article-noun agreement
long queues
a long queue

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun queues in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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for long hours. It not only making the things difficult for
young
Add an article
the young

The noun phrase young generation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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generation to go to
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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college but it
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

put
Verb problem
has

There may be a verb use issue here.

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effect
Add an article
an effect
the effect

The noun phrase effect seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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on old age who
were
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb were appears to be unnecessary here.

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travel by
bus
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to meet the doctor. The ticket for the higher authority
empolyee
Correct your spelling
employee

If you don’t want empolyee to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

is not
same
Correct article usage
the same

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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as other travellers, it is the responsibility of the authority to pay their travel allowance but now they are not giving them that facility. Despite the aforementioned paragraph, the part of service I would like to change is the service
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of the buses would be increased so that multitudes will reach to their destination on a
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. When the buses come one after another, individuals do not wait in
a long queues
Correct the article-noun agreement
long queues
a long queue

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun queues in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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and for
long
Change the article
a long

It appears that the phrase long time may not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. It would be really appreciated, if
there
Replace the word
their

The word there may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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changes will
made
Change the verb form
be made

The verb made after the modal verb will does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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in upcoming weeks. I am looking forward to your prompt response. Yours faithfully, Manjinder Kaur

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Grammar
Make sure to use correct verb forms and pluralizations (e.g., 'occurred' instead of 'occured' and 'employees' instead of 'empolyee').
Coherence
Consider the clarity of your ideas; ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
Task Achievement
It would be beneficial to include a clearer description of the problems you face due to service changes to strengthen your overall argument.
Coherence
The letter is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion.
Task Achievement
You have effectively identified the problems faced by the commuters due to the changes in service, which is relevant to the task.
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