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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below shows the proportion of the workforce who are women and the percentage of managers who are women in five different countries.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the proportion of the workforce who are women and the percentage of managers who are women in five different countries.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table gives information about the percentage of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 who are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working as
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a manager
managers
show examples
managers
Use synonyms
 and in
Use synonyms
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
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 in five different countries (Australia, Egypt, Sri Lanka, Japan and,
Correct article usage
the Unites
show examples
Unites
Replace the word
United
show examples
 States).
Overall
Linking Words
, more females are working as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manager
Fix the agreement mistake
managers
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 in Australia, comparing
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 four countries.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
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 Australia and
Correct article usage
the Unites
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Unites
Correct your spelling
United
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 States have the highest amount of females who own manager
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
, 43 %. Meanwhile, the ratio of women working in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
workforce
Use synonyms
 is 3
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 higher than
managers
Use synonyms
, 46 % and 43 % respectively. Moving on
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 statistics of other countries, Japan has the most amount of female employees being a part of
Use synonyms
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
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 with 48 %,
in
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
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 female
managers
Use synonyms
 consist only 17 % of
share
Correct article usage
the share
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.
Likewise
Linking Words
, Sri Lanka experienced the same trend,
workforce
Use synonyms
 employees are approximately 5 times higher than women working as
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a manager
managers
show examples
managers
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Egypt's female
workforce
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 8 % higher than women
managers
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words managers, workforce with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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