IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Popular hobbies and interest change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

In
this
Linking Words
morden
Correct your spelling
modern
 era,
individual
Add an article
the individual
an individual
show examples
 finds
Correct pronoun usage
it difficulties
show examples
difficulties
Replace the word
difficult
show examples
to follow
Change preposition
in following
show examples
 their hobbies
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 they are focusing on
otheres
Correct your spelling
others
 and trends. I completely agree with the statement in my essay will
expain
Correct your spelling
explain
expand
 and include some
relvent examaple
Correct your spelling
relevant examples
. Nowadays,whenever you switch on the television,
phone
Correct word choice
or phone
show examples
 or even flick the
newspeper
Correct your spelling
newspaper
, you will find
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 trend.
Everyone
Replace the word
Every one
show examples
 of us
like
Change the verb form
likes
show examples
 to have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 idea,so
they
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
 can be part of it.
For example
Linking Words
, One of my
friend
Change to a plural noun
friends
show examples
 started to observe
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
medial
Fix the agreement mistake
media
show examples
, twitter
Correct your spelling
and Twitter
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
 to get
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
show examples
, so she
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 be part of that.
one
Capitalize word
One
show examples
 day she created an account
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
 and posted
a reels
Correct the article-noun agreement
reels
a reel
show examples
 related to fashion, dance and so on. After
sometime
Replace the word
some time
show examples
 her video got viral and she had
millons
Correct your spelling
millions
 of views and very next day she received
offer
Add an article
an offer
show examples
 from
brand
Correct article usage
the brand
show examples
 and now she is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
part of these trends.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people wish to continue their hobbies but as they
seen
Add the auxiliary verb
saw
have seen
show examples
 many things in
this
Linking Words
 new world
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
are confuse
Change the verb form
are confused
are confusing
show examples
what
Change preposition
about what
show examples
 to follow and
douting
Verb problem
doubt
show examples
thereself
Correct your spelling
themselves
.
For instance
Linking Words
, my
classemate
Correct your spelling
classmate
classmates
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
always wanted to be a chef but her family requested her to take admission
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
a mangement
show examples
mangement
Correct your spelling
management
 course
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 every one of
the
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
take
Replace the word
took
show examples
 admission. Later, on she realized that she
has take
Wrong verb form
had taken
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 wrong step and she
took
Verb problem
was
show examples
admission
Replace the word
admitted
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Hotel
mangement
Correct your spelling
management
 to become a chef. I believe,
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
choice
Replace the word
choose
show examples
 to follow a trend due, to
stressful
Correct article usage
a stressful
show examples
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
 and they are looking for some fun,
extra
Add an article
an extra
show examples
 source of money and to be known by everyone.

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Language
Ensure you use correct spelling and grammar throughout your essay. This includes words like 'modern' instead of 'morden' and 'because' instead of 'becouse'.
Structure
Improve your logical structure by clearly stating your main points and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear focus. Consider separating your ideas more distinctly.
Language
Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance your writing style and engage the reader.
Content
You have presented a clear opinion on the topic, which is essential in task achievement.
Content
You provided examples that illustrate your points, which helps in understanding your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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