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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan from 1993 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan from 1993 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph gives information about the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 in the United Kingdom, Europe's regions and Japan over 14 years, from 1993 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
unemployment
Use synonyms
 percentages in the UK were high
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the beginning of the period but they decreased later which
exactly
Add a missing verb
is exactly
show examples
happened
Correct pronoun usage
what happened
show examples
 in the EU.
While
Linking Words
 Japan had the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
 of
unemployment
Use synonyms
 issue
then
Linking Words
, its
rate
Use synonyms
 increased but it was still less than the UK in the
last
Linking Words
 of the period. In 1993, the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 in the rest of UE were 9
then
Linking Words
 they
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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continuously increased until 1997 which reached about 11. After that, the
rates
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 continuously declined until became less than 8 in 2007. For the UK, in 1993, its
rate
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 was the highest which was 11 but it significantly decreased until 2001 it became only 5 and
this
Linking Words
rate
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 stayed fixed for four years
then
Linking Words
 it saw a tiny increase. Throughout the period, Japan was the lowest country
according to
Linking Words
 the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
. In 1993, its
rate
Use synonyms
 was only 2.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
rate
Use synonyms
 became 3 by 1995.
Then
Linking Words
 it did not see any move until 1999 when it saw a high increase which reached 6 in 2003. By 2007, it declined and became 4 which is the lowest one in the beginning and in the end.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, rates, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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