IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Paying all workers the same salary in a company promotes harmony and respect amongst colleagues. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people opine that providing equal earnings for
employees
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
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 a workplace is a great opportunity to sustain fairness in a company. At the same time, others are of the view that equal payments decrease the
quality
Use synonyms
 of work and motivation of
high
Replace the word
highly
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 qualified workers. I think that from
material
Correct article usage
a material
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 point every person should be treated
according to
Linking Words
 their
quality
Use synonyms
 investment in enterprises. On the one hand, involving
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 salaries is a great opportunity to promote friendly relationships in a collective, since it might assist
to reduce
Change preposition
in reducing
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 the number of
conflict
Fix the agreement mistake
conflicts
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 regarding payments .
Moreover
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,
this
Linking Words
 can
also
Linking Words
 contribute to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better efficiency
due to
Linking Words
 the help that
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
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employees
Use synonyms
 can show to entry-level assistants.
For instance
Linking Words
, new junior
employees
Use synonyms
 would feel comfortable in a group and will share their ideas with higher confidence since they are treated the same as others.
This
Linking Words
 might reduce jealousy among workers and promote faster development of those who are new
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 workplaces. Despite
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
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 positive effects of
this
Linking Words
 trend,
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 salaries might
also
Linking Words
 have numerous drawbacks
such
Linking Words
 as
lose
Replace the word
loss
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 of motivation of workers to excel. Certain individuals who are experienced in their sphere and
contributed
Wrong verb form
contribute
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 to the growth of
company
Correct article usage
the company
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 might feel undervalued among
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
, owing to the fact that they receive
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 payments as other
employees
Use synonyms
, even new ones.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are plenty of different responsibilities
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 every employee and they complete them with different
quality
Use synonyms
,
hence
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 those who
worked
Wrong verb form
work
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 less will have the same treatment as those who
overworked
Add a missing verb
are overworked
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 at some point.
For instance
Linking Words
, if
restaurant
Correct article usage
a restaurant
show examples
 cooker will get the same earnings
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
chef
Correct article usage
a chef
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 the former would not like to acquire career development. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 the same salaries can enhance cooperation and create a more inclusive and collaborative environment, it can
also
Linking Words
 decrease the
quality
Use synonyms
 of work performance and lack of professional staff, since no one would like to overwork for free.

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task achievement
The introduction presents both sides of the argument but could be clearer in stating your actual position early on. Consider rephrasing it to explicitly indicate your stance on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are quite lengthy and complex. Breaking them into shorter, clearer sentences could improve readability and comprehension.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples are directly relevant and fully developed. For instance, when mentioning the example of the restaurant chef and cook, make sure to clearly link it back to the argument about motivation.
task achievement
You present a balanced view of the topic by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of equal salaries.
task achievement
The use of examples helps illustrate your points and adds depth to your argument.
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